Downtown

I miss my camera. I was going through my pictures and I saw this picture I took at night, it's in Downtown LA. Every time I go there I always look at things and then I say to myself that would be a cool picture, I like how cars waiting at the light and people crossing the street looks. An abandoned building, a weather beaten building showing it's age, a window display. I need to get one soon, and need to get my dark room ready, I have most of the items ready to go, just need the camera. Soon I will post pictures... soon.

The Pregunta

I just came home from playing poker at Felipe's house, I lost $2, it was good to play call your own. The night was scheduled on a Saturday which is rare, but it was a special occasion according to Felipe, he said it was our second anniversary of poker night when he sent out the text, lol. I don’t think one person acknowledged it when we started playing.


I read about three pages from a book called "Drink Cultura", can't remember the author but he grew up in Texas and stated his family lived in Juarez, Chihuahua. I'm writing about the book because the pages I read hit close to home, a radio station in Mexico asked the author, "Do you write as a Mexican or a Gringo?" I think about this question and ask myself, do I "think" or "live" like a Mexican or a Gringo? It's a hard question to answer since I was born here and lived in Mexico for most of my young days and part of my early teen age. As I think about the question I think about numerous things; how my life has changed because I live in the US, how my kids will not think or be the same as me. Having lived in Mexico was a great experience for me, I learned about the Conquista, Diego Rivera, Miguel Hidalgo, Zapata, Villa, Porfirio Diaz, la Malinche, La Guerra de los pasteles, literatura espanola, el Argentino Jorge Luis Borges, el Chileno Pable Neruda, el Espanol Federico Garcia Lorca, and what many consider Mexican Independence, "Cinco De Mayo". In the US I learned about Hemingway, Poe, the declaration of Independence, how the west was lost, Pavlov and the “conditioned reflex”, slavery, and most importantly I have experienced Capitalism first hand. I have listed so many things that perhaps are pointless, but because of those things I have a point of view from both sides of the border. I think about my daughter and future kids, how they will not know what it's like to be or to understand that part of me, to have lived there and seen poverty, to grow up with living next to familes of 10 and all are living in a two bedroom house. Visiting la abuela and have her give you a toston, your mother to give you la bendicion. With all that said, I am Mexican and Gringo when I see it to work in my advantage. Many of my friend’s parents are Mexican and they were born here, do they consider themselves Mexican or Gringos? I'm Mexican when we play the US soccer team, I'm Gringo when we compete in the Olympics, I'm Mexican when I hear the national anthem, it makes me feel that I have "el corazon en la mano", and I'm a gringo when I cross the border... US citizen sir! I love my Gringo freedom and all the luxuries it has afforded me. My lifestyle now is not one of a Mexican at all, I speak spanish at work and at home not a word is spoken unless my parents are over. I can say that you dont have to live like one to be one, but everything I do is very american. Most of the music I listen to is in English, rock, r&b, etc. etc. If I keep typing I might convince you that I'm lost, or that I have an identity issue. I rambled on and perhaps didn't make one valid point, but it's good to know que puedo gritar "Viva Mexico Cabrones!" and to know that if I chant UUUU S A, UUUU S AAAAAAAA! Either one will make me feel good.

Sad News

News agencies are reporting that the Pope has died, the Vatican is denying his death; either way, sad day for catholics around the world. El canto de todos los mexicanos... "Juan Pablo Segundo, Lo Quiere Todo El Mundo"


I've been reading the Da Vinci Code for several months and I just can't finish the damn book, don't get me wrong, it's a great story but I just can't get to the end. Reading the book makes me understand how the book has pissed off so many people, Opus Dei, Catholics, Christians, and everyone who associates themselves with the man. It's a great story, it's science fiction but it's written so well that some of the information "is" and other appears to be historical fact. The book makes you go mad (crazy in a good way, makes the wheel inside my brain turn) about the information it gives you. You wonder, and then you tell yourself... "it all makes sense", but then I stop to think... "this is exactly what the author wants me to do"... delve into and think that it's fact, he does a great job.


Lately I've been thinking about going to Japan, and YES I WILL TAKE YOU WITH ME! I think about learning the language, and how it would be a very interesting place to visit and even live. To sit in the subway, and be with millions of people and not a word being muttered. To be in Japans old capital, Kyoto, and to be in Tokyo, the east's NY City, that would be so much fun and best of all the geat pictures I can take. "Some day" like my dad used to tell me when I was younger, all I can do now is hope that I visit the Orient and Europe later.


~Cool Lyrics From B-Movie~
every night, every day
in that all old familiar light
you hang up when i call you at home.
and i try to get through
ant i try to talk to you
but theres something stopping me from getting through.