The Pregunta

I just came home from playing poker at Felipe's house, I lost $2, it was good to play call your own. The night was scheduled on a Saturday which is rare, but it was a special occasion according to Felipe, he said it was our second anniversary of poker night when he sent out the text, lol. I don’t think one person acknowledged it when we started playing.


I read about three pages from a book called "Drink Cultura", can't remember the author but he grew up in Texas and stated his family lived in Juarez, Chihuahua. I'm writing about the book because the pages I read hit close to home, a radio station in Mexico asked the author, "Do you write as a Mexican or a Gringo?" I think about this question and ask myself, do I "think" or "live" like a Mexican or a Gringo? It's a hard question to answer since I was born here and lived in Mexico for most of my young days and part of my early teen age. As I think about the question I think about numerous things; how my life has changed because I live in the US, how my kids will not think or be the same as me. Having lived in Mexico was a great experience for me, I learned about the Conquista, Diego Rivera, Miguel Hidalgo, Zapata, Villa, Porfirio Diaz, la Malinche, La Guerra de los pasteles, literatura espanola, el Argentino Jorge Luis Borges, el Chileno Pable Neruda, el Espanol Federico Garcia Lorca, and what many consider Mexican Independence, "Cinco De Mayo". In the US I learned about Hemingway, Poe, the declaration of Independence, how the west was lost, Pavlov and the “conditioned reflex”, slavery, and most importantly I have experienced Capitalism first hand. I have listed so many things that perhaps are pointless, but because of those things I have a point of view from both sides of the border. I think about my daughter and future kids, how they will not know what it's like to be or to understand that part of me, to have lived there and seen poverty, to grow up with living next to familes of 10 and all are living in a two bedroom house. Visiting la abuela and have her give you a toston, your mother to give you la bendicion. With all that said, I am Mexican and Gringo when I see it to work in my advantage. Many of my friend’s parents are Mexican and they were born here, do they consider themselves Mexican or Gringos? I'm Mexican when we play the US soccer team, I'm Gringo when we compete in the Olympics, I'm Mexican when I hear the national anthem, it makes me feel that I have "el corazon en la mano", and I'm a gringo when I cross the border... US citizen sir! I love my Gringo freedom and all the luxuries it has afforded me. My lifestyle now is not one of a Mexican at all, I speak spanish at work and at home not a word is spoken unless my parents are over. I can say that you dont have to live like one to be one, but everything I do is very american. Most of the music I listen to is in English, rock, r&b, etc. etc. If I keep typing I might convince you that I'm lost, or that I have an identity issue. I rambled on and perhaps didn't make one valid point, but it's good to know que puedo gritar "Viva Mexico Cabrones!" and to know that if I chant UUUU S A, UUUU S AAAAAAAA! Either one will make me feel good.