Writing

I've always been a fan of reading and writing, when I was a student in Mexico, I was one of the best writers in my classes, something I haven’t thought about until today. I would always perform in school plays and be in some kind of dance performance. I never liked being in front of people performing, but there was something about what I was doing that made it all worth it. I was in lots of plays, mostly during Christmas, one of them was "The Little Match Girl" by Hans Christian Andersen, others were stand in parts, that was lots of fun, I was in the play but I didn't have any lines. During Mothers day, schools had festivals, with several performances; I remember my favorite play, a poem by Guillermo Aguirre Fierro (Mexican) El Brindis Del Bohemio, I played a drunk going through recollections of past memories, my part was Raul's. Performing in front of people was not hard, learning my parts was. There were times when I wanted to quit and I would come up to the teacher and tell her about it, but she encouraged me. She held auditions and I showed up because I wanted to make fun of the whole situation, she said to show up have a poem memorized. When she called my name I was sort of laughing and playing, but she gave me stern stare and I got into it, used my hands to express the song and I nailed it! When I was ready to quit she reminded me that I had done very well, and that my expressions the way I had auditioned made her choose me. This helped me, and well in the end I put on a good show. One thing I do remember is that my Mother wasn't at the school play; she was here in the US, one of her several trips to make ends meet. I got sidetracked with that story but I had to write it, since I dug it from my memory bank. My fascination with books and writing has allowed me to expand my vocabulary, back then in the Espanol and now in English. Literature in general, is a great way to expand even your thinking, to understand other cultures around the world. You can always learn a word or two in another language, and you can learn to appreciate very minute things from other countries and cultures, now hopefully one day I can travel to all these places I read about. Lately I have been reading lots of books, and stopped writing, then a few months back as I started writing a poem for Hvnly about the rain, I had writers block and never continued it. I finished the poem this week and I'm listing it below. This past week I visited deep inside of me, a place I thought I had closed the door to. I thought of years past, when all wasn't well inside, when there was a lot of shit going through my head and I was going through it alone, a very personal struggle that to this day I have no idea how I got into it. I've written something about those dark times, about The Rain and my love for Hvnly, about the new bright light that is inside of me.
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The Rain
by OMD

It came over me
Unannounced dark cloud
I ran, but it didn’t help
I’m drenched

Soothing sounds fill the air
Of thunder and lightning
As if it were your touch and lips
You calm my fear

Silent, cold, desolate
I’m calm
The rain is gone
You are here

Clouds brake up
Your face I see
Sun rays shine through
The beauty is you

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Dark & Ravaged Inside
by OMD

I called HELLO! There is no echo and no answer, the air felt cold and the mood was somber. Dark, desolate, with deep caves of fear and places where the sun has not shone. Moments of happiness and laughter were in a necropolis, a pantheon of lost memories, to think of them was forbidden. Striking a match to find my place, a roaring angry draft blows it out. Creeping in the air is depression, anger, hate; this was the habitat for evil. Staying here is certain death; nothing here to nourish the soul to keep the spirit alive. Run, death is behind you! My sixth sense wakes me but I’m not lucid, I wonder if the evil in this place is real or if I’m dreaming? I have an out of body experience, macabre, I see myself laughing at myself, schizophrenia? Days have gone by and my body is decaying, putrefying, I’m slowly decomposing. Screams of horror echo in my head; I wonder if I’m hallucinating, its murder. Wrath of evil striking me down with fear, I’m no longer whole, I’ve become one with darkness, not sure if I’m comfortable with the idea, perturbed. Have I become benumbed to my surroundings? Mad from the fear, a miserable death, a slow decomposing process, decaying to a foul smell of rotten flesh. Feeling horrid the final days until the last breath, suffocation, heartbeat pounding like a loud drum, gasping convulsively. Unconscious I die with a blank stare.

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Vivid
by OMD

Warmth throughout my face, I feel like a sunflower, every direction, everywhere I go it doesn’t go away, like a shadow you can’t rid, the sun, and feeling of love. Rays of happiness and joy fill every inch of my body, gleaming through my pores, noticeable, a twinkle in my eye, can’t hide the feeling. Words can’t express it, puzzling, to feel it the only way to grasp it. Effervescence of love, heart shape bubbles rise from thee, contagious with no cure, once intoxicated you don’t need an antidote. I’ve contracted it, blinded, no longer prejudice, nor discriminatory. What is it? Can’t tell you, enter the door and don’t be afraid to let go, relaxation, bliss. Like a shroud of positive energy, I live my day feeling like I can combust any moment from the sheer joy that fills my heart. We are two, yet feel like one, symbiont, holding hands and walking the earth. I’ve been struck, I’ve lost the battle and I won’t win, I’ve let go, let nature take its course, love, it’s great, it’s inexplicable, festive with bright colors, earth, one.

I’m alive, simply alive.

Moot

Moot - Subject to debate; arguable: a moot question.

Law. Without legal significance, through having been previously decided or settled.
Of no practical importance; irrelevant. <--- How I'm using the word.

Mi Madre y Padre have left the country, they drove back to Ameca, Jalisco, Mexico. I'll try to post a map of how long (distance) the drive is, takes them about 2/3 days driving, can you imagine in a burro?



Today this post will be about nothing in particular just me blabbin' and yabbin' and yappin'. I bought some McDonalds for breakfast this morning, I ordered pancakes, it came with sausage and I ordered a side of hash and a large Coke, no fucken wonder my stomach is hurting. I don't like the pancakes at McDonalds, I rarely and I mean rarely order them, I think they have some type of polymer (synthetic, I learned that word from Rick, my compadre). I sit here and begin to think of what to write, nothing comes to mind "writers block", thank god I don't have a daily column, specially one that would be opinionated, but writing about what you think and feel like would be cool. If I had my own column I would call it… Negativity Bitch, If You Care, Fuck YOU! Wow that’s kind of harsh but when I wrote it, it felt good, like hell yea bring it biatch, “roll up” like in swingers! Maybe I’m pissed ‘cuz of the second bombings in London, can you believe this shit? It needs to stop, maybe all of the Catholic, Jews, Jehovah witness, Buddhist, etc. etc. etc. (that’s from “The King and I” the "etc. etc. etc." part, lol) maybe all of the aforementioned should pray to Allah just for a minute and say please make them stop. Maybe he will respond and say, WHY? You have waged war on my people/religion for centuries, and I have said or done nothing in return. You have let the world attack me and have not come to your brother’s rescue. This can be true you know, but I guess we will never find out; I doubt John Lennon’s lyrics will ever come true…

Imagine there's no countries,
It isnt hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...

Wars have given humanity a plethora of changes that have made life simple, and enjoyable; I guess you can bitch and complain and then say thanks to Motorola for developing a cell phone, thanks to the Cold War and the race to the moon for creating tang. I’m going to end this because I got a call and these people had no fucken idea I was blogging and they broke my train of thought, how dare they, do they not work? I sure as hell do!

Ciabatta... C - I - A - B - A - T - T - A - Ciabbata, smooch (throwing up the peace sign) peace out!

Woman Defies Driving Ban

A while back I had written about how I learned about a ban on women drivers in Saudi Arabia. Today I found out that a woman defied the ban and decided to drive, this was after her husband fell ill at the wheel. She drove 10 miles to the nearest gas station where her husband was treated, looks like her act and defiance saved his life. The article mentioned that in rural places (to farm etc.) some women do learn to drive, but don't drive all the time. Perhaps the Saudis can learn from this incident and understand that like with all negative things; (Saudia Arabia deems it offensive and negative - I can't judge nor say they are wrong for doing this), theres is always something postive that will come out of it; Jaime Escalante said it best in "Stand & Deliver" a negative plus a negative is a postive.

Small World

It's bloody Monday and I feel like I need a vacation, but I should not fret, my scheduled holiday will be arriving by the end of the month.

Friday night I cruised by my sisters house and picked up my niece Jenny, she spent the weekend with DJ, and they both had lots of fun together. Friday was SOCOM night, we got worked in 1 out of 6 clan wars (lost two maps 6-2 & 6-1), not to shabby. Piles and I (Doc Holiday) have been kicking some major ass in this game, when we war. We are super elite snipers without a spotter (one who finds the target), we preffer to use single shot sniper rifles like the M87ELR or the M82A1A, and if a close fire fight breaks out all we do is bring out old reliable, DE .50 caliber. The Desert Eagle will tare your limb off in real life, that gun is no joke. I hope no one gets to be a human target and someone's shooting at them with the DE .50, if this will be the case my suggestion is to run Forrest run! Saturday was pretty smooth throughout the day, we took the kids to the theater; Fantastic Four it's what we paid to watch, but wait 'till it comes out on bootleg or netflix. Late that night I hooked up with my cuz Johnny Cash, we were going to play poker at a house where according to him, "good players" showed up. Called the house up and nobody was there only the house owner, guess they knew Doc Holiday was going out, and they knew about my famous OK Corral shootout and decided not to show. I wanted to play some poker so we drove down to the Hawaiian Gardens Casino. Played $20 no limit from around 10:30 pm up until 3:45 am; that was the longest time I've played poker. The first two hours I got worked, lost $40; when I had a good hand I just was not hitting the cards on the boards, the rest of the time I was getting low cards and had to fold. After I lost those $40 I decided to take a quick break, so I ran out to my car and smoked a cigar, can't member the name but I'll post a picture of it later. After the smoke I sat down and started winning, I started with $20 and was up close to $100 when it was all said and done, I cashed $20 and never recovered the previous $40 I had lost hours earlier. Got home so late the sun came out just minutes before I fell asleep ;) It was fun on Saturday night/Sunday morning. Sunday was Hvnly's debut as a Beer Nuts player, one error and one base hit (I think she went 1 for 3), she reedemed herself with that hit. We were about to leave the parking lot when Alicia asked if I thought this guy looked like Joseph; Joseph or Jobo is a TextAmerica member and has become an online friend, we are getting in our car when he approaches us and says, Max? I was like yea, Alicia then says yea hi, I told you it looked like Joseph! We said hi took a few pictures and said adios. It's a small world when you meet someone who you've seen pictures of online, it was cool meeting him. Came home after the game, ate subway, took a nap and watched Kingdom Of Heaven. The movie was ok, they had one of the best lines I've heard in a while, can't quote it verbatum but I'll try "You have great qualities, your enemy will know about you before you even meet him"

Time to say goodbye for now, as I wave goodby I am entering a tunnel (can you guess where in the world is Carmen San Diego?), and I can hear little kids singing, "It's a small world after all..."

The Times

I need to get me the voice recognition program so it can do the typing for me. I have some shitt to say, that it would be so much easier for me to just yap into the microphone, than to type.



First thing I'd like to say is that my heart goes out to all the families and loved ones in London who suffered from those terrorist attacks. I mentioned to Hvnly how I wish we can just go to a place we know these people are located, just grab them and question them, torture them and even inflict wounds if we have to, to avoid these kinds of tragedies. Yes with these comments I am stepping on someone else rights, assuming they were captured in the USA, right to privacy, right to an attorney, and in the rest of the world, the right to be a human being and be treated like one. FOIA - Freedom Of Information Act is one touchy subject, I mentioned this to Hvnly, how I wish we use it in our favor, but this can be a powerful weapon for the government to do as they please with your personal life, belongings, information, anything they feel is valuable to the investigation they can take from you, without a signed warrant from a judge. Did you know? In China, if a police officer deems necessary to search your car/house/personal belongings and you don't give him consent, he can write himself a warrant on the spot! This would be a violation of the 4th ammendment, the right to privacy(see below). This is a process they can overlook here in the US using the FOIA, if somone feels that my piece of dirty underwear will help the investigation in any way, they can take it, this is fucking CRAZY! FOIA has been used to save hundreds of lives, and to avoid tragedies like those in London. My take is the following, use it as long as it doesn't affect me, but don't do it to me. Yes this is so convenient for me to put it this way, but what else can you do? It's like a double edged sword, catch 22, entre la espada y la pared. I've always said to Hvnly, ignorance is bliss; yes nothing that I have talked about today has affected me in any way (except for not having the voice recognition program), but the fact that one day your rights can be taken away, and we see this happening already, is scary.

Amendment IV
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Armstrong

Such a shame that as I blog this I feel I should just get up and slap myself in the face, and if I could, I would kick myself in the ass. Armstrong one day said back in the late 1990's - "I have testicular cancer and it has spread to my stomache, but I'm going to fight this, I'm going to beat this"- He's now trying to win the Tour De France for the 7th straight time, I'm cheering for this guy hope he kicks some serious ass. I write about this because Armstrong was pretty much done in terms of his love for the sport and no one thought his return possible, but his will to win and beat cancer has made him one of the greatest sports athletes of any era. I hope that what I write inspires me to do the same in my life.

My Book

Sharing two excerts from the book I'm reading, I thought one was worded perfect and the other was funny; Thanks Hvnly I'm enjoying the read!

~ Her hand was still resting in the curve of my arm, near the elbow. The touch was exactly what the touch of a lover's hand should be: familiar, yet exciting as a whispered promise. I felt an almost irresistible urge to take her hand and place it flat against my chest near my heart. Maybe I should've done it. ~

~ 'What are you on about now, Didier,you bastard?' she asked companioably, her south London accent giving the first syllable of the last word an explosive ring. 'He was just telling me that the French are the most civilised people in the world'. 'As all the world knows'. he added. 'When you produce a Shakespeare, out of your villes and vineyards, mate, I might just agree with you,' Letty murmured though that seemed to be warm and condescending in equal parts.
'My dear, please do not think I disrespect your Shakespeare,' Didier countered, laughing happily. 'I love the english language, becaues so much of it is French.'
'Touche,' I grinned 'as we say in English.' ~